The art of appreciating others

Appreciation of another is a concept discussed at length but too often forgotten in relationships. Appreciation is defined as the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone and the showing of gratitude to such someone.

There are many quotes and sayings on this topic. Two that come to mind are “you never know how much someone means to you until they are gone” or the opposite side of the spectrum being “treat them mean, keep them keen”.

Many people in relationships seem to fall within one of the two categories described above – one that makes an effort and another that takes full advantage of it without much gratitude, appreciation or other types of affection. One party not being able to express appreciation is one of the main reasons for divorce and relationship breakup.

When appreciation is shown, it reinforces the positive behaviour and creates a greater bond between the couple. However, as we know, men and women are very different species, which means that each of them can express appreciation in different ways.

Some men would only resort to showing their ‘appreciation’ when things go sour and their partner is close to calling it quits by way of lavish gifts & expensive gestures. Not that there’s anything wrong with gifts and grand gestures. However, it is the daily behaviour that makes or breaks a couple.

There are also women, who act like they are doing the world a big favour by just getting out of bed in the morning. Women, who do not treat their partners nicely. Women who do not see just how fortunate they are and that their partner adores them. And then there are other women, who do everything in all aspects for their partner and get nothing or close to nothing in return.

Being through it personally and seeing many relationships  break up and seeing those couples who still make it work after many years, I have seen some common patterns of the ‘right’ things to do for both men and women.

Some suggestions may be to give your partner a kiss and a cuddle just because it feels good and to tell them you love them more often. For a guy – buy her some flowers for no reason (they cost as little as $4 and most girls love it!) and do something in the house that would make her smile. Other general suggestions for both men and women include planning a nice day out, watching sunsets together or doing something that both of you enjoy. The main thing is to show each other your love and adoration.  Remember, once your partner starts feeling they have been taken for granted, your relationship may be in great jeopardy. So if you are with someone amazing – get out of your comfort zone and start showing your gratitude. You may just save your own happiness from walking out the door.


About Jane Garber-Rosenzweig

I am a mother, a senior franchising and commercial lawyer, a writer and a social media enthusiast. I live a very busy lifestyle but believe that you need to take time to ‘stop and smell the roses’. I also believe in taking educated risks and celebrating all achievements in life, regardless of how big or small they are. I am a lateral thinker and an optimist. My goal in life is to ensure the saying “we make our own destiny” becomes a reality.
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