After having a discussion with a friend about people’s expectations in life, I have come across a quote by Lisa Kleypass, which totally summarised my position: “You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.”
Reflecting on the topic later that evening, I played the devil’s advocate and looked more closely at this subject. There is a common saying “do not expect and you will not be disappointed”, which also resonates with me. That is not to say that you should lower your expectations to accommodate someone. Not at the slightest. If you have formed an expectation, by all means keep to it. The only problem will be the hard emotional fall if the expectation is not met.
Thinking further, are there subconscious expectations in our minds in regards to friends, partners and loved ones? No doubt there are. We create a perception of others based on our past experiences, the norm within the society and other factors. That becomes, in most cases, our downfall, as the expectations are often not met.
A few months ago and as a result of past disappointments, I made a conscious decision to live my life without any expectations and to accept people as they are. Since then, I have embraced helping others and being there for friends as a first priority. Nothing is required in return. Enjoying sharing some laughs and having a chat in good company is enough of an emotional reward for me. If something good is ever meant to find you, it will find a way. Jack Farris cleverly stated that “you don’t ask nobody to give what they can’t give, or be what they can’t be. You’ve learnt that, you got a head start on heartbreak.” I have definitely learnt that.